Life appears to have returned to normal. Life is filled with the same things as before. Some things have changed, but all in all it is balancing itself out. Love has increased. Hate has increased. So they are still in equal proportions as before. Is it impossible to love something more without then liking something else even a little less? Do they go hand in hand, or is it purely coincidental?
When I got out of hospital I was more sure than ever I was on the right course. I didn't doubt myself, or those around me. It's funny how people can say one thing, planting a seed without even realising it, and then you start to doubt. This doubt is harder than any I've had before. I don't doubt myself; I'm more sure than I ever was. I know who I am and how I feel.
It was scary enough before; having just put myself out there. But my words were met in kind, and the world was falling into place. Now my words are still met in kind - but there's something else there, too.
So what am I to do? Do I carry on, and wait until one day you seem to definitively decide you'll stay or go - in a convincing fashion? Or do I drag you to that point now - and risk pushing you either way?
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