Oh, one last thing. What is it that I want?
I want to stand up on a stage. Or even just in a room. And play. And when I finish, be able to say that was the best I could have done. I gave it my all. I had nothing left to give, I'm not capable of anything else. My preparation was the best it could have been. There was nothing else to be done. In that moment. Or in the lead up.
No excuses. Not hiding behind anything outside of myself. Accepting what I did, and hopefully being proud. On top of that, hopefully it will be great. I want to do something no one else has done before.
Finally. Not being scared to fail. To give my all and to not be afraid of being found wanting.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Uni Days
This is my fourth year at uni. My eighth semester. Technically, I could have finished most of the courses offered at my uni, but instead I'm only approaching midway through mine. This is the first time I've made it to second semester of second year. I should probably be a little ashamed, and truth be told I am a little, but I'm also glad things worked out this way. I'm quite happy with the way my life is currently unfolding, my laziness aside.
I feel like I've learnt so much about myself, and life, in these four years I've been at uni that I would have missed had I gone through head down studying solidly for the past 4 years. Not to mention, I would be in the wrong course. I say wrong (instead of different) because I feel like where I am right now is exactly where I am meant to be. I've had time to sit back and observe, to live a little and to work and study equally. I don't know what I want to be, but I know what I want and how to get there now. I'm not saying that I will get there, I'm just saying that I know what I'm doing now is right for me.
Anyway. That's enough catching you up with my life up to now.
I feel like I've learnt so much about myself, and life, in these four years I've been at uni that I would have missed had I gone through head down studying solidly for the past 4 years. Not to mention, I would be in the wrong course. I say wrong (instead of different) because I feel like where I am right now is exactly where I am meant to be. I've had time to sit back and observe, to live a little and to work and study equally. I don't know what I want to be, but I know what I want and how to get there now. I'm not saying that I will get there, I'm just saying that I know what I'm doing now is right for me.
Anyway. That's enough catching you up with my life up to now.
A New Beginning
I've decided I have a lot to say. Or at least, I sometimes like to talk about myself. Offload the ups and downs of my days, weeks and months. I realise that I, as much as the next person, enjoy listening to people talking about themselves, but like everyone I have a limit. It reaches a point where I just don't care any more. Some things, I don't think I need to know. Depending on who you are, and how much I like you, of course.
So, being aware of this, I decided that perhaps this way, I am not forcing anyone to listen to my pointless stories. I can ramble as much (or as little) as I like, and no one is going to tell me to pipe down. If someone happens to read, good for them. If no one does, then I can still pretend like my life is the hottest blog online.
So, being aware of this, I decided that perhaps this way, I am not forcing anyone to listen to my pointless stories. I can ramble as much (or as little) as I like, and no one is going to tell me to pipe down. If someone happens to read, good for them. If no one does, then I can still pretend like my life is the hottest blog online.